I write this post on the eve of my boyfriend’s best friend’s stag-do. An infamous night in many men’s lives where one last hurrah is thrown for them by their mates, nothing is off limits in these men’s minds regardless of how debauched or unseemly the act may be. The most time honored event of this night is the stripper, lap dancer or hooker (depending on just how many ‘banter points’ friends are looking to score.) Aside from the questionable judgement used by the ‘stag’ on this hallowed last eve of freedom (if you class the last night out before one’s wedding a reason in some cases to forego the monogamy expected in most long-term relationships), one other thing troubles me, the perception of the woman payed to entertain these men. Is she seen purely as entertainment? Is she seen as an example to other women? Is she an object? One has to question what a woman’s motives are behind such an occupation. Is she desperate? Is she empowered?
What if her empowerment stems from delusion?
Prostitution is said to be the world’s oldest profession, reaching back to ages of conquest and short life expectancy. So why in our modern age does it still thrive? Let us look at the lower level of exploitation; strip clubs. Strip clubs are a gateway between what is legal and what is illegal.Owning such an establishment is a legitimate front but often there is shady background activity, be it more hardcore forms of buy-able sexual experience, or drugs, or sometimes both. All though these elements are not to be spurned lightly, strip clubs at a surface level have enough provocative talking points for one blog post.
Firstly, what are men looking to gain when attending strip clubs?
I think it is deeper then just a voyeuristic pleasure, objectively I believe the thrill comes more from the attention. A woman who can’t refuse you as long as you play by the rules (or pay enough), she will smile at you when you want and whisper sweet-nothings in your ear – “Baby, you’re so handsome”, “Daddy, your so rich” etc. For men who frequent strip clubs often this buzz may be all that sustains them or makes them feel masculine, but for the once-in-a-blue-moon stag participant what is the appeal? If a bride-to-be could be a fly on the wall whilst her fiance watched the erotic dancers paraded in front of him would her view of their intimacy change? Would his lustful stares and willingness to throw money on stage to maintain a particular girls attention denote a certain level of apathy towards his free and tangible relationship? Of course one can only speculate.
What I can be clear on however, is my feelings about the women who choose a career based on a bestial lack of dignity. I will state that I have no objections to pride in the female form, every woman should be free to expose what parts they would like at their own discretion, no piece of a human body is offensive. But to be paid to do so is surely a form of coercion. Women who have to strip to feed their families or pay their student loans aren’t shinning examples of women embracing their sexuality out of choice, it is more a case of who pays the most and what hours accommodate their lifestyles. Students can’t work during the day often, nor can single mothers. The women who try to convince themselves that they are empowering themselves should really take a step back, selling ones body even without the physical sexual acts is degrading. If the monetary gain is not what entices you to strip then the time spent doing so should be used more wisely, and if the money is the driving factor institutions outside of these women’s own means should prevent it being such an appealing offer.
Until the casual patrons of strip clubs boycott this profiteering sex culture, strip clubs will continue acting as the floodgate for sex trafficking. On top of this, female performers will continue to try to derive some value from the act of stripping, more to ease their weary minds opposed to allowing the reality of their actions to hit home then to forward any feigned act of feminine empowerment.
Female Forays 